Friday Wine Chat: The indecisive and anxious girl’s guide to wedding planning

Happy Friday girls and guys, grab that cheeky oversized glass of Chardy and let’s chat.

‘How’s the wedding planning going?’
‘How’s the wedding planning going?’
‘How’s the wedding planning going?’

Ad. Nauseam.

Nothing brought me closer to mental breakdown than those five well-meaning words. I considered taking a small cushion with me everywhere so that I could politely turn away and scream into said cushion when this question inevitably was asked of me.

I understand that everybody loves a wedding, and everyone was super excited for the immense booze-up and the party in Byron Bay, but I am also doing other things good too* and quite frankly I began getting offended that people seemed to not know anything else about my life other than I was a bride-to-be.

*Grammar is not one of those things I always do good at, apparently.


Real live photo of me from a disposable film camera, about 2 weeks prior to getting married. Clearly it was all getting to me.

Guys, it wasn’t you. It was me. I didn’t grow up fantasising about weddings, so I had no idea what I wanted, what we needed… no idea. When it came to making decisions about booking things for our wedding, I was so paralysed by options. I never knew whether or not the things I’d booked were right, or if some magical unicorn vendor I’d never heard of was just around the corner, or if I needed to make x decision before we could decide on y.

It was all too much. It was easier to just… not… plan… the wedding. Until someone else asked me how it was all going, and then I’d quietly have a mild panic attack at my own lack of planning.


Proof that it’s not all bad. Here’s a sweet note from my Grandma about how excited she was for our wedding. This still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy now.

When I work with couples in the lead up to the wedding, I am so sensitive of the stress that tends to pile up, especially towards the end. I don’t know, maybe it was just me, but I find it safer to not lead with ‘how’s the wedding planning going’ in case my brides are feeling slightly homicidal (and let’s be real, 99% of the time it’s the brides getting bombarded with these questions).

I realise you are real live people that have other shit going on – you might be renovating a house, raising a dog/cat/pony/human child, having your sweet ass dragged in and out of meetings day in and day out at work, and then just hiding under a blanket all weekend not looking at your email inbox. You just don’t wanna think wedding just this second. You’ll get around to it next weekend, but probably stress about it in the middle of the night from now until then. And when you ARE ready to get wedding shit sorted, you want it sorted TODAY so that you can get on with the rest of your life.

I know those feels, boy do I know those feels. That’s why we make sure we answer emails really fast, for example, and we don’t bombard you with questions and logistics super close to your wedding date (because I KNOW for a damn FACT that everybody else you know will be- no matter how organised you think you are, people will still ask a million questions, don’t say I didn’t warn ya).

So, back to the point, how do you finally make those big decisions on vendors and such? Look, I’ll be honest. Nobody died from making the wrong choices on wedding invitations… except in that one Seinfeld episode… right that was a bad example.

But you get what I mean. It’s not life or death and there are so many kickass wedding vendors around the traps right now that we are totally spoilt for choice. But how do you find the BEST ones? They usually aren’t on the first page of google, frustratingly.

My advice would be this: do the same thing you did with your betrothed: go with your gut. Ask the one you love most (if they aren’t available, no probs, move to plan B). Lock it down. Stop looking at what else is out there. Let’s break this down.

Find the vendors you love and talk to them!
you know, the creative, different ones who do beautiful work that is not super wedding-y – the ones that you find by falling down some sort of rabbit hole on instagram. Try searching the directories of more independent flavoured wedding blogs and magazines like Nouba, WHITE or Hello May (we’re on the directories and/or have been featured in these publications, not that we’re biased, but there’s lots of absolute gem wedding peeps listed there).

Talk to these magical unicorn wedding vendors of yours! If what they do fits with what you’re envisioning for your day and they make you feel excited about working with them then dannnng gurl. I think you’ve met your match.


Book the ones you can’t imagine weddinging without first
Venues book out way in advance, so locking down a wedding date and venue is the most important bit. Everything else will follow. But enquire with your must-have vendors as soon as possible (for us, it was our photographer. And our DJ!)

Ask your favourites who they love working with, if you’re stuck!
Chances are, they’ve done a wedding or two before and they’ve probably worked with a few people they love and want to work with all the time. Ask them who they love working with and chances are their eyes will light up and they will tell you a long list of amazingly talented people (I will rave to anybody and everybody about the amazing people we get to work with every weekend!).

If you want recommendations from us, we have tons of those. We have worked with some absolute legends on our own weddings and together on our couples’ weddings. We can definitely help you out, sistah.


…and how do you handle all these well meaning questions?
Try and remember everyone is just maddddd excited for you, bro. The minute you get hitched, the questioning just swings around to ‘when are you going to have a baby?’. It won’t stop. So smile sweetly, neck that glass o’wine and keep on keepin’ on. This is just what it means to be a grown up person hittin’ those #lifegoals. Enjoy the ride!

And now it’s the freakin’ weekend! Cheers!

Pro tip:

Christmas get-togethers are the WORST for bringing on the anxiety of being disorganised. If you’re ready to make this official and lock down your photographer: Let’s do this! We don’t even have to talk about the wedding very much. We can just drink wine and hang out.

If you’re just looking for further procrastination: let me give you a hand with that, buddy.


xo Alyce

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